I am Writing

UNTITLED- I am Writing

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I sit to pour the contents of my soul into oblivion

That maybe, if I get these words on paper my mind and heart wont

feel so heavy

The world just seems dark, like a shadow has fallen upon it

And as the sun tries to peak its rays, the shadow devours them

Making everything engulfed in darkness

 

They say it won’t hurt to smile once in a while

So you plaster this big gigantic smile to appease them

Let there mind go to rest

They say you should spend more time outside

So, you do. The moment your observed, you go for a walk.

Only to find the most isolated corner of the street to sit on the concrete

If you tell yourself you are okay, more times then one

Maybe you will start to believe it

When your breath catches in your lungs, and darkness overcomes your eyes

Your gonna be okay, thats what you said anyway

They tell you to go find some friends to hang out with

I worry for you when you’re alone

So, you plaster that smile again and tell them “sure thing”

Knowing perfectly well, that your heart goes pitter, platter, pitter, pitter, platter

At the mere thought of saying hello

And your hands get all clammy and your mouth goes all dry

So, just for today, just for tonight

I guess I’ll just stay inside

There’s always tomorrow right?

 

 

 

 

 

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I am Writing

Hey You, Yeah You, You deserve an Epic Life | I am writing

alive-720243_1280Driving home today from work, I began thinking about what makes a person a bad person, or good person a good person and whether, that has to do with things that the universe throws at you.

I want to believe that if you strive to be a decent human being, meaning that you make decisions that are thought through and you are not out to cause harm to others than life should find a way for good things to happen to you. But, my internal struggle came from well what if you make bad decisions that can be harmful to others and/ or yourself do you still deserve to have good things happen to you. I am still pondering on this.

In my heart I feel like every single person deserves to lead the most epic life. We only get one life to live as is. Why strive to live anything but epic? If we have the power to create what we want, does that take away the desire to harm others. It got me thinking do we hurt people because of something that we are internally not happy with.

Glimpsing back at my life, when I have hurt others it wasn’t because of something they did wrong, it was something that wasn’t sitting right with me that caused me to cause others pain. I think that everything leads back to self- love and knowing you deserve an epic life. I know life throws hardships at you and not everyone has all the cards aligned to succeed but I think that everyone is capable of learning to love themselves and deal with events powerfully.

Loving myself has always been a huge struggle, only this past year have I really devoted time to myself. This year is the first time that I have put my needs first before anyone else’s. And this is what I have learned: My happiness doesn’t depend on other people. I can  still love people who are not currently in my life, because they chose to not be there. Their choice doesn’t lessen my love for them or my desire to wish them to be happy. I am blessed to wake up every morning, and I am so grateful for the people that are in my life. I truly am lucky to spend my days with people that make me laugh, that joke around with me, people that aren’t afraid of being honest, I surround myself with people who like conversations, that are open to letting me be part of their story.

Ultimately I create the reality I live in. Why should anyone but me decide what kind of life I am supposed to have? Now, I know you may be like well, what if something bad happens how do you handle it, my dad reminds me every day when something tough is happening take a deep breathe and handle it in chunks. Break up the situation, human beings are so prone to just jump into action and most of the time the situation we are dealing with is a minimum risk to ourselves but jumping and trying to solve it all in one huge chunk or not exploring your possibilities or figuring out what you are really feeling and why, leads us to make rash decisions.

I challenge you to feel your feelings, all the uncomfortable ones. I challenge you to open your heart to possibilities that you think may be impossible. I challenge you to love like you have never been hurt before. I challenge you to be honest with yourself and do things that benefit you, that make you happy, that make you want to wake up every morning running out the door to start your day.

I set the intention for myself and my life to no longer accept anything less than EPIC. I am creating epic love, epic adventures, and an epic life. I am worthy and worth it, to  live a fairytale.

BE OPEN, BE LOVING, BE FREE! You are the creator of your life, you deserve nothing less then an amazing.

ONE LOVE ALWAYS!

RINA

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I am Writing

I’d Rather Kiss Heartache (I am Writing/ Slam Peom)

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One kiss

One moment

Faking the healing process

One Smile

Heart pounding

Mind pleading for them not to notice

Chest caving in

Hard to breath

Head held high

Eyes shining making them believe

That everything is okay.

The desire to feel anything other than the unbearable pain

That was protruding through my chest

Like knifes prickling every inch of my skin

Heartbreak

Your soul shattering

A thousand pieces

Like a broken vase hitting the ground

Maybe, maybe if I didn’t act like her

Fault,  Blame

Maybe, maybe if I was different

Maybe if every inch of my soul

wasn’t hurting in the most terrible way

Always being told

You are too young to know what love is?

Please tell me, am I too young to know what heartbreak is?

Am I too young to know that when that song on the radio comes on

The one he held you close too

The one he sang in your ear

The one that made you grin

Comes on the radio and you feel numb

The tears pour down your face

Making you feel small

Making you relive those moments held in the arms of the one

You’ve trusted the most.

The thing that nobody tells you about heartbreak is:

You NEVER stop loving the one who broke you

It gets easier

You learn to survive

You learn to move on

You learn that you may open your heart up again

But, the one who broke will always be special

For the way you love them, will never be the same for anybody else

Its a different kind of love

A sad kind of love

But, heartbreak is just that a different way of loving

And if the universe gave me a choice

Who would I kiss for the rest of my life?

I’d rather kiss the one who caused the heartache

Than one who made me feel nothing at all

 

 

 

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Friday Reads

#Friday Reads October 14,2016 |Las Vegas Weekend

Hey Bibliomaniacs,

The past few weeks we can say were a little hectic. School has been kicking my butt. But, I am hanging in there, strong as always. So, since I am take a much need vacation to relax, rejuvenate, eat some junk food, and spend time with my best friend. I figured this week is going to be a very laid back Friday reads.

The book I will be reading this week is: The Girl On the Train by Paula Hawkins. I bought last week when I was getting my car serviced and didn’t have anything to read. Needless to say this is one purchase I do not regret. The first 100 pages were EXCELLENT!!!

Synopsisthe-girl-on-the-train

The debut psychological thriller that will forever change the way you look at other people’s lives.

EVERY DAY THE SAME
Rachel takes the same commuter train every morning and night. Every day she rattles down the track, flashes past a stretch of cozy suburban homes, and stops at the signal that allows her to daily watch the same couple breakfasting on their deck. She’s even started to feel like she knows them. Jess and Jason, she calls them. Their life—as she sees it—is perfect. Not unlike the life she recently lost.

UNTIL TODAY
And then she sees something shocking. It’s only a minute until the train moves on, but it’s enough. Now everything’s changed. Unable to keep it to herself, Rachel goes to the police. But is she really as unreliable as they say? Soon she is deeply entangled not only in the investigation but in the lives of everyone involved. Has she done more harm than good?

My Thoughts:

I am hoping to read at least another 100 pages by Tuesday. I am very much enjoying the story so far, and I am very curious as to how it all ends.

One Love,

Rina

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I am Writing

You are your soulmate (I am Writing)

 

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Namaste,

Today I had this EPIC freaking powerful, incredible, mind-blowing conversation with two beautiful human beings that have changed me and my life.

Six weeks ago I had this great opportunity to partake in a program called “Relational Intelligence”. It was life changing, the one on one experience I had conversing with Matt and Amanda was mind blowing, soulful, breath- taking and most of all it was healing.

What is this program you may ask? It is a course completely based on your relationships, but the most powerful thing is although the course is targeted to work on romantic relationships, it opens so many other areas in your life that you are able to address and heal. This was great for me because I not only got to hear how to be a better communicator, how to show up for myself, and how to keep the honeymoon phase going but, I got to explore myself and patch my heart up. It all takes work, but love never dies.

I knew going into the program I wanted to work on being a better partner in romantic relationships. But, I got so much more out this program because it allowed me to start really healing myself and getting to know myself better.

So, now that all the backstory is out of the way, I want to address the title of this post. “YOU ARE YOUR OWN SOULMATE”, but how is that possible. I learned that I have always looked for someone to fill in the gaps that I wasn’t fully filling for myself. Looking at this is like looking, at a jar of round noodles and pouring water on top and watching the water, sink to the bottom surrounding all the empty space around the noodles.

You are your own soulmate, you are perfect, and you are complete. When you recognize that you are a complete being without the presences of someone else, you are creating this energy around you to draw to yourself a person that will be the icing to your cake. While you are cultivating that energy, you have the time and space to play and find yourself. Who are you as a person? What are you passionate about?

So, who the hell is Marina? I can tell you that, I am a lover of people. I love knowing people’s stories. I am a being that wants to love not only myself but shower and surround the universe with love. I am FIRE, I burn with passion for things that I love. I want to change the world, I want to grow, I want to learn, and I want to burn like the brightest flame in the sky. I will change the world, I will continue to be a lover of man-kind. I am complete and I am whole. I am so excited to continue learning about myself and playing through life. I am enjoying exploring areas of life that are new to me, and which I am curious about.

With that, I set an intention for future relationships. My intention is to be with someone who I can grow with, someone who is my best friend and an equal in the relationship. I want  a lifetime of adventures.

Ultimately, I also set an intention for all relationships, friends, family, co-workers etc. My intention is that I want to surround myself with individuals that will help me grow, explore, converse, and adventure with me. I want to have powerful relationships in all areas of my life.

(I’ll add all information to connect you with Relational Intelligence when I am provided with it from Amanda and Matt.)

Excited to play, Excited to love, Excited to explore.

One Love,

Rina

 

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I am Writing

Lessons (I am Writing)

 

autumn

I thank the universe

Everyday for that one

Summer which changed my life forever

It taught me what love is

What it feels to be alive

What its like to be encompassed

In another persons limbs

Seeing so much love and hurt  in another person’s eyes

Shattered something deep in me

I wished I didn’t cry

It taught me that a broken heart

Never truly heals

That human beings are more fragile

Than I could ever possibly think

It taught me how to stand with my head

held up high

Even when a thousands feelings were being

surfaced in my eyes

That summer taught me that you just have to stay strong

It taught me that when you love someone

you have got to be selfless

No matter how much it may hurt

As long as you’re happy, thats all the confirmation that I need

I learned that love is my most powerful weapon

And to LOVE is to forgive

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Monthly TBR

October 2016: To Be Read

So, there has be a lot of “I am writing” post so lets switch this up a bit.

Here is the plan for October. Its not going to at all ambitious.(Did you get the pun?— Gone with the wind is over 1,000 pages)Lady Midnight

But, before I jump into that. A quick reading up date, I am about 2 chapters away from finish “Lady Midnight”. There will be a review on it posted some time this week so look out for it.

I really only plan on making progress in one book which is:

Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

Margaret Mitchgone-with-the-windell’s epic novel of love and war won the Pulitzer Prize and one of the most popular and celebrated movies of all time.

Many novels have been written about the Civil War and its aftermath. None take us into the burning fields and cities of the American South as Gone With the Wind does, creating haunting scenes and thrilling portraits of characters so vivid that we remember their words and feel their fear and hunger for the rest of our lives.

In the two main characters, the white-shouldered, irresistible Scarlett and the flashy, contemptuous Rhett, Margaret Mitchell not only conveyed a timeless story of survival under the harshest of circumstances, she also created two of the most famous lovers in the English-speaking world since Romeo and Juliet. (Goodreads)

If time permits and I need a little break from “Gone with the Wind”, I also plan on finishing ” The Bane Chronicles”.  I started this book during the summer and never got around to finishing it.

The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare

the-bane-chroniclesFans of The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices can get to know warlock Magnus Bane like never before in this collection of New York Times bestselling tales, in print for the first time with an exclusive new story and illustrated material.

This collection of eleven short stories illuminates the life of the enigmatic Magnus Bane, whose alluring personality, flamboyant style, and sharp wit populate the pages of the #1 New York Times bestselling series, The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices.

Originally released one-by-one as e-only short stories by Cassandra Clare, Maureen Johnson, and Sarah Rees Brennan, this compilation presents all ten together in print for the first time and includes a never-before-seen eleventh tale, as well as new illustrated material. (Goodreads)

Thoughts:

I am a little nervous about reading “Gone with the Wind” because it is over  a thousand pages. But, one page at a time should do it.

I may pick up some spooky reads around Halloween, but I will see how the reading goes this month and pick them up by mood.

Until Next time with warm cups of tea and just a few more chapters,

Rina

 

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